Examining Tensions
I sat in front of Steve Solnick at the Service Expo as he asked me about my research—on housing, homelessness, crime and reentry—“So, what’s your plan to make this happen?” he inquired. President Solnick was referring to my suggestion that in order to implement a restorative justice system a series of societal and political shifts need to occur. While this question poses unfair implications given the actual purpose of my research project I realized (while sitting there without an answer) after 16 weeks of service and research around the criminal justice system President Solnick had a point. Which is to say I did not have a plan. Two days later, our class clustered in front of the chalk boards while we reflected on our service and research over the semester. Julie Wilson, the class instructor, asked us “How would you respond if next week one of the students we worked with from Earn and Learn shot and killed someone at gun point?” Before I responded verbally to the class I instinctively thought “We would forgive them.”
As I sit here know I am able to articulate the answer I wish I would have had for President Solnick, and what I will, from this point forward, unwaveringly declare as the first step towards any means of restoration: forgiveness. My most profound discovery of this semester was finding out how to attempt to restore justice on a day to day, one to one basis. I must forgive the system that leaves individuals ashamed, broken, and voiceless. I must forgive the crimes of fellow men and women who feel destruction is the only avenue to obtaining the rights they so fiercely desire. I must forgive myself for whatever ignorance or prejudice manifests within me. I must challenge myself to stay open to the knowledge that behind crimes stands people who most often do not disrupt families or communities out of malice or spite, but the desire to be seen, known, and loved. Restorative justice, I feel, is a system of second, third, fourth, and hundreds of chances, redo’s, thousands of “I’m sorry”, and equally as many “You’re forgiven”. In allowing space to show forgiveness to others victims and offenders recognize a mutual respect for each other’s humanity. This respect is what has and continues to spark real systemic change. Because Martin Luther King Jr. respected his own self-worth, fallibility, and power to do good—and that of others—he helped to transform civil rights movement in this country. Because Cesar Chavez respected the dignity of labor and the value of the human soul he led a labor revolution and fought back against a system created to perpetuate prejudice. Both of these men were able to look their oppressors in the face and not back down, but instead respond with love, integrity, and, above all, forgiveness.
The service with Earn and Learn and the various steps leading up to a complete research project have been challenging, demanding, and at times unenjoyable. I consider my experiences this semester within the context of this class wildly valuable, but appreciation and affection are not always synonymous and that is the case as I leave this class. At the end of my research project I can say with only limited clarity how to implement a system that could break down a history text book worth of prejudice, stigma, and policy failures in order to restore justice. And as the class wraps up service with Earn and Learn I can claim with only minor confidence that my work with the program was truly restorative to the participants. I know many times I was left unsure of what to say, what to do to motivate the kids to serve, or how to let them know our class was filled with people they could trust. Many times through the research process I felt like I was grasping for answers in the dark and proposing a plan that would take an army to enact. But I am grateful I was given the opportunity to fumble and the chance to not know the answers when wanted them, but instead to muddy the waters even further. I am grateful that I was able to dive deep into complex issues, emotions, and challenges and come up on the other side with even more questions. The point of this class and our projects, I feel, was not to find the answers or formulate infallible plans, but to learn and in doing so spark a greater flame for curiosity and action. My plan, so far as I understand it, is only to forgive, speak up when I can, act when the time is right, and never stop reaching for deeper knowledge.
I sat in front of Steve Solnick at the Service Expo as he asked me about my research—on housing, homelessness, crime and reentry—“So, what’s your plan to make this happen?” he inquired. President Solnick was referring to my suggestion that in order to implement a restorative justice system a series of societal and political shifts need to occur. While this question poses unfair implications given the actual purpose of my research project I realized (while sitting there without an answer) after 16 weeks of service and research around the criminal justice system President Solnick had a point. Which is to say I did not have a plan. Two days later, our class clustered in front of the chalk boards while we reflected on our service and research over the semester. Julie Wilson, the class instructor, asked us “How would you respond if next week one of the students we worked with from Earn and Learn shot and killed someone at gun point?” Before I responded verbally to the class I instinctively thought “We would forgive them.”
As I sit here know I am able to articulate the answer I wish I would have had for President Solnick, and what I will, from this point forward, unwaveringly declare as the first step towards any means of restoration: forgiveness. My most profound discovery of this semester was finding out how to attempt to restore justice on a day to day, one to one basis. I must forgive the system that leaves individuals ashamed, broken, and voiceless. I must forgive the crimes of fellow men and women who feel destruction is the only avenue to obtaining the rights they so fiercely desire. I must forgive myself for whatever ignorance or prejudice manifests within me. I must challenge myself to stay open to the knowledge that behind crimes stands people who most often do not disrupt families or communities out of malice or spite, but the desire to be seen, known, and loved. Restorative justice, I feel, is a system of second, third, fourth, and hundreds of chances, redo’s, thousands of “I’m sorry”, and equally as many “You’re forgiven”. In allowing space to show forgiveness to others victims and offenders recognize a mutual respect for each other’s humanity. This respect is what has and continues to spark real systemic change. Because Martin Luther King Jr. respected his own self-worth, fallibility, and power to do good—and that of others—he helped to transform civil rights movement in this country. Because Cesar Chavez respected the dignity of labor and the value of the human soul he led a labor revolution and fought back against a system created to perpetuate prejudice. Both of these men were able to look their oppressors in the face and not back down, but instead respond with love, integrity, and, above all, forgiveness.
The service with Earn and Learn and the various steps leading up to a complete research project have been challenging, demanding, and at times unenjoyable. I consider my experiences this semester within the context of this class wildly valuable, but appreciation and affection are not always synonymous and that is the case as I leave this class. At the end of my research project I can say with only limited clarity how to implement a system that could break down a history text book worth of prejudice, stigma, and policy failures in order to restore justice. And as the class wraps up service with Earn and Learn I can claim with only minor confidence that my work with the program was truly restorative to the participants. I know many times I was left unsure of what to say, what to do to motivate the kids to serve, or how to let them know our class was filled with people they could trust. Many times through the research process I felt like I was grasping for answers in the dark and proposing a plan that would take an army to enact. But I am grateful I was given the opportunity to fumble and the chance to not know the answers when wanted them, but instead to muddy the waters even further. I am grateful that I was able to dive deep into complex issues, emotions, and challenges and come up on the other side with even more questions. The point of this class and our projects, I feel, was not to find the answers or formulate infallible plans, but to learn and in doing so spark a greater flame for curiosity and action. My plan, so far as I understand it, is only to forgive, speak up when I can, act when the time is right, and never stop reaching for deeper knowledge.